Red Bull
by Takhrenixe
Summary: Sonic raids the fridge one morning and discovers a treat: Red Bull energy drinks. May Chaos have mercy on Shadow and Tails' poor unfortunate souls...


**_I honest to Chaos have no idea what the fudgemuffins this is. OxO_**

**_Regardless, enjoy this pointless heap of crackish goodness. And review, please, if you can be bothered to do so. Oh, and there's mild Sonadow (betcha didn't see that coming)._**"GOOOOOD MORNING, SHADZY!"

* * *

One still-drowsy eye twitched at the unfittingly cheerful tone with which Sonic the Hedgehog greeted him. If any other had used that name, he would have put them to sleep permanently, but since that wasn't the case he let it go.

_It's ten-thirty. How in hell's name is he this peppy THIS EARLY IN THE MORNING?_

"...Good morning, Sonic...?" was his uncertain reply. Sonic smiled at him, stretching his limbs and yawning loudly.

"Didja sleep OK?"

"..." Shadow would die before he would admit he'd had nightmares that kept him awake.

"Didn't, huh? That sucks man. Me neither, really. Nightmares. Ugh."

The Blue Blur gave a little shudder, expressing his disdain for bad dreams, but perked up immediately, for what reason Shadow didn't know.

"If that's the case, why are you so...happy?" He slurred, fatigue distorting his voice.

"Well, that's easy," his equally tired friend exclaimed with an unnervingly wide smile, "Being around _you _makes me happy..."

If Sonic saw the blood-red blush that rose to Shadow's cheeks at hearing that, he didn't acknowledge it; instead smiling and looking at a point behind the Ultimate Lifeform with something akin to euphoria. Emitting a high-pitched squeal of glee he dashed in that direction and called over his shoulder,

"Of course a couple sodas and seein' my bro helps too!"

This statement made little to no sense to Shadow, so he ignored it, until a mighty crash was heard behind him. He turned to see what Sonic had done this time, sighing.

It seemed that Tails also woke up a bit early, and his brother immediately barreled into him, sending them both flying down the hall of Tails' house; they landed in a laughing heap, and Sonic immediately grabbed onto the little Fox and squeezed him with all the enthusiasm of someone that is high from energy drinks -which he'd mistaken for sodas upon finding them during his daily morning fridge-raid- and hasn't seen the one they're hugging in years. Tails protested loudly, complaining of 'crushed ribs' and 'popped lungs', but predictably the obliviously ecstatic Hedgie paid no heed.

"GOOOOOD MORNING, TAILSY!"

The Kitsune stared at him as if he were insane, then understanding dawned in his eyes as he took in Sonic's demeanor and appearance.

"Sonic?" he began, "Did you drink anything today?"

Sonic nodded vigorously. "Mhmm."

"And what did those drinks look like?"

"Well they were in really big cans and the cans were blue and silver," the boy said, lost in some sort of thought that most probably had nothing to do with the current situation.

Shadow and Tails both gulped at the same time, meeting each others' gaze with a wide-eyed dread that clearly meant:

Red Bull. Sonic drank a Red Bull. Oh gods.

Slightly concerned at the fact that Sonic was starting to vibrate in place, he asked,

"How many sodas did you have, Sonic?"

The tone with which he said this told Sonic he was in trouble. He laughed nervously.

"Uh...um...just one or two...or ten...I think. Heh."

Tails' jaw dropped. Ten. His brother, the Hedgehog who could stay in a temporary high for weeks with the help of less than an ounce of caffeine, had drunk ten Red Bulls.

...He and everyting in his house that wasn't made out of titanium were so, so very screwed.

While Tails worked to disentangle himself from the still-clinging caffeine junkie, Shadow ventured to the kitchen for a Mountain Dew, but when the fridge opened, he stopped cold.

There on one of the shelves sat a 24-pack box of Red Bull...empty. Further investigation concluded that the garbage can next to the refridgerator was stuffed with twenty-four drained Red Bull cans.

The implications were horrifyingly obvious.

"Tails," he called from the kitchen, "When did you buy the pack of Red Bull in the fridge?"

The Kitsune appeared in the doorway, having finally freed himself of his overly-friendly sibling.

"Last night."

"And how many have you drunk?"

Tails raised an eyebrow, confused. "None, they were unopened." Something clicked then, and his eyes grew to the size of dinner plates. "Do I want to know why you're asking?"

"No, but you probably should know anyway. The box is empty."

Tails froze, then very slowly turned to see Sonic ricocheting around his living room like a pinball on crack, giggling insanely and shouting 'BOING!' every time he hit a wall. He crashed into the sofa with a muted thud, then burrowed down into it until only his eyes could be seen from under the cushions. "I'm a meerkat! BONUS POINTS!"

"Oh gods. Oh, Chaos. Are you trying to tell me Sonic had twenty-four Red Bulls?"

Sonic had abandoned the couch and taken to bouncing up and down the stairs.

"Yep."

Tails nearly fainted. "Crap."

"Mhmm."

"Hey Shadow?"

"Hmm?"

"Could you lock him in his room or something? My house has barely recovered from last time."

With a knowing nod, he walked into the living room (read: disaster area), preparing to tackle the speeding bullet that was Sonic, confused when he was nowhere in sight.

Looking around, a very bad foreboding feeling in his stomach, he was completely unprepared when the sugar-fueled menace glomped him from the side.

"SHADZY-KUUUN!"

Shadow stumbled and fell backwards onto an armchair, absolutely stunned and somewhat terrified to find Sonic the Hedgehog clinging to him with all four limbs, trying to burrow into his chest fluff.

He was quite certain that either his heart or the world stopped at that moment.

"TAILS!" he howled, angered and panicky at once, "GET! HIM! OFF! ME! _NOW_!"

Tails moved forward to help, but Sonic was already gone, no doubt to wreak havoc someplace else. Shadow stared blankly at the ceiling, having not moved an inch.

"HI PLANE! YOU'RE PRETTY!"

This time it was Tails' heart that stopped. Sonic was in his workshop. On a Red Bull high.

_Not_ a good thing.

He flinched at a humongous crash that sounded as if an avalanche had occured shook the very foundation of the building.

Shadow continued to stare. "He's _your _brother, you catch him. I'm not touching him."

With a groan of resignation, he started toward the basement/hangar of his home.

"Sonic, whatever you're touching, put it down now!"

The purring of the Tornado II's engines starting up sent abject horror rippling through him, and he reached the hangar just in time to see his beloved plane rocket down the built-in runway and launch into the sky with a series of spins, flips and corkscrews that would've made even the most hardened pilot pull so many Gs that implosion was imminent; but of course Sonic was having no trouble, and was in fact switching positions every few seconds, from piloting to letting the giant hunk of metal free fall while doing tricks off the sides.

At this point, Tails just sighed and walked back into the house.


End file.
